Alone
by Andyouthinkimcrazy
Summary: Not Yaoi: After Five years of hiding himself away in the Ring, Bakura confronts Ryou to straighten out their relationship even if that means he'll have to give his life up. Discussion of suicide


-sigh- I don't like this, I blame that on the fact that it's not Yaoi! OMG! NOT YAOI! OO So, since it's not Yaoi I decided to have it as a sort of Christmas gift (though it has nothing to do with Christmas...) for my wonderful friend Rockinmuffin (who doesn't like Yaoi too much, SHAME ON YOU!) :D Anyhow, I hope it doesn't suck as bad as I think it does...

Oh, Ryou hugs Bakura a few times... that's the worst (or best) of it. I had to somehow occupy my Yaoi obsessed mind.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Alone

I actually did it, after what must be years I can feel Ryou's presence. It's nice to be back with him even if there is the possibility of him pushing me away again. Aside from whispering my name Ryou remains quiet; I don't say anything either. I'm trying to figure out what he will do, and I bet he's doing the same. Right now he's in school, University I think, so he must be in his twenties now and I've chosen a bad time to interfere. He'll probably spend the rest of his day thinking of me instead of paying attention.

Ryou tries to focus his attention back on the man droning at the front of the room but I can tell he's left enough of his attention in case I say or do something. Silence is shared between us and I finally decide that I should return to him later, at a better time, though I don't really want to leave. I've been alone in the Ring for so long.

I'm about to leave again when I feel him reach out to me, "Bakura, wait." He tries to sound stoic but I can hear the despair in his mental voice, "Are you going to come back later?" I don't respond for a while; I really wouldn't have expected Ryou to ask me that question. I'd expect him to say, 'Please don't come back.'

"Yes, I'll be back. I have something to ask you." I don't wait for a response so that he can't object and I return to the confines of the Ring.

I must have been here all alone for four years, it's not a lot compared to the three thousand I spent before but it seems to be a lot longer when I know all I had to do was open the link and I could talk. Of course the conversation may have ended up awkward, but it would have been better than complete silence. Why didn't I talk to him then? I don't think he likes me at all anymore, but the truth for me is that I missed him. I missed him a lot. Of course I did want to talk to him, just so I could find out how his 'normal' life is going. It's not like I really care though, he's just someone to talk to; he's really the only one I can talk to.

If I know Ryou, my sudden reappearance in his life will change his life again. He'll accept me back, of course, but gradually he'll probably trap me back here. That's why I've figured out a way for both of us.

I wonder what kind of mental trauma Ryou went through after what happened; I never got to find out. I wonder if that one time he tried to contact me if it was a cry for help and comfort. I ignored him, of course; he brought that pain on himself, and I would have protected him. He didn't want me to protect him; he wanted me to leave.

He spent about a month sending me little hints that he wanted me gone, and then he actually spent another few weeks telling me he didn't want me commenting on his life. Eventually it got to the point where he didn't want me to say much at all. I wanted Ryou to be happy so I tried my hardest to leave him be, but there's only so far that I was willing to go.

I remained watching him for about a month but it just so happened that one day when he was walking home he got attacked. Of course I wasn't about to let anyone mess with my Landlord, but I did ask him if he needed help. Ryou replied with a firm "no." So I remained there in partial silence watching them struggle about in the darkness. I tried to encourage him but that quickly changed to me trying once again to help him when the mugger brandished a knife.

Ryou once again told me to stay out of it, but that simply infuriated me! Ryou didn't know how to protect himself from that kind of weapon and when the blade pierced the skin of his right arm I began to voice that opinion.

"Damn it, Ryou!" I yelled at him, "He's going to kill you! Let me help. I know how to take care of him!" I tried to take over, but for once Ryou actually managed to hold me back.

"No!" He had replied harshly, "I want to live my life, even if it ends here! I don't want you here! I want you out Bakura! OUT!"

And so I did the best thing I could do, I locked myself in the Ring and I haven't spoken to him since. Well, not until today, anyhow. The only reason I did talk though is because I've decided to finally give him what he wants. If he wants me out, all he has to do is destroy the Ring; and the only thing stopping him is the fact that he has to consult me. So I'm giving him what he wants; I'm going to have him destroy the Ring. Death will be much better than eternity alone again.

Who would have thought that I'd ever even consider it? But really, do I want to spend another few thousand years in here? No, there won't be much for me. I'll probably just end up trying to collect all the items again and again until finally I do let myself leave this place. Why not make it just a little quicker?

I can feel Ryou trying to get my attention again; I must have been thinking for quite a while now, "Are you home now?" I ask him rather gently.

"Yes." He replies. He takes a brief moment to familiarize himself with my presence again and I do the same. It feels so odd to actually let him do a bit of searching through my mind. Once we're finished with that I separate from him and take on my ethereal form before him.

"You've changed." I say slowly. He's still almost girlish in appearance, but he is taller and he does look stronger. His hair is shorter, but it isn't so different and he evens seems to have taken on slightly darker skin. The greatest difference is in his eyes. Compared to before he was attacked to now, he looks a lot more depressed.

"It's not that much." He responds, "I'm still me." I smile slightly at him and he smiles back, "So, what did you—"

"Not yet Landlord. I want to catch up with you a little." He nods and shifts on his feet, "Perhaps you should sit down."

"Actually, I think I'm going to change out of my school clothes. You don't mind waiting?" I shake my head and he quickly disappears down the hall. He's living in a different apartment now. It's small, but I'm guessing that he doesn't have to deal with his father much at all now.

I take a seat on his couch and lounge around before he comes back and sits next to me. I can't help but laugh a little, "You still dress the same, do you?"

Ryou blushes a little. "There's nothing wrong with how I dress." He turns away with his head bowed slightly though that doesn't really hide the red gracing his face.

"So, you go to… University now?" He nods again almost franticly to shake his head from embarrassment.

Ryou faces me and he replies finally, "Yes, I'm doing pretty good too." He continues on about what job he's going to do and how he came to that decision. It really does look like he's been leading a wonderful life so far, without my interference.

When he's silent again, I decide that I should tell him what he must do for me. Surely he wouldn't deny that he wants me gone. Though he does seem happy to see that I'm back, "So how have you been?" He asks finally after realizing that he's been talking about his plans for nearly an hour.

"Fine, I suppose, I haven't really done much. There isn't much to do but think in the Ring." His smile fades and he looks away, "There's not even much to think about." I can tell that he's ashamed about shoving me in the Ring; but I bet he'd do it again if it meant that he could have his 'normal' life, "I did think of one thing though and I've been thinking about it for a while now. That's why I've come to ask you, then I won't need another thing."

"A-And-- what do you want to ask me?" He tilts his head to one side and leans in just a little closer.

"You won't like it at first, but it will be better. If this is how things are going to stay then it's far better." I can't help but sit up more as well so that I can look into his eyes and see his reaction, "I want you to destroy the Ring, Ryou." He leans back and blinks confusedly at me, like what I just said had no real reasoning behind it, so I tried to make that clear, "I'm not staying in there anymore; it's boring." Boring wasn't really the word I was looking for, I was just lonely; but I won't tell him that, "Besides there's not much here for me now."

"But—" Ryou stops himself and turns away a bit. He's silent a long while mouthing words that I can't hear, "I don't want to." He finally tells me; I knew he would say so.

"Really, Landlord? Why do you want me here then?" I stare hard at him, "You don't want me around, do you? You'd rather let yourself be killed, right?"

He cringes away with his head hung and he whimpers pathetically, "I never meant to say that, it wasn't true. It's not true. I don't even know why I wanted so badly for you to be gone."

"Do you even know why you want me to stay?"

"Of course I do!" He grasps my hand between both of his, "Bakura, you're the only one who understands me and is always there." Ryou's eyes turn back to mine, and he stares at me with his shimmering brown eyes. "I've been so lonely without you Bakura." His grip around my hand tightens. "I don't want to destroy the Ring, or you. Please stay here."

Suddenly I have the most terrible idea to do the same thing to him as he did to me; only this time I'll be dead and he'll be all alone. But I have no real reason to do that to him, and from the sound of it, he's been alone anyhow. But, do I want to stay?

Sensing my continuing consideration of leaving, Ryou quickly wraps his arms around me, "I need you Bakura, please!"

"Why?" I growl out, "Why do you suddenly need me?"

"It's not sudden." Ryou whispers, "As soon as you were gone I knew that I was wrong. I tried to call you, but you didn't answer me." Ryou sniffled and pulled back enough to look me in the eyes again, "So I tried to move on, but each day I've hated myself for yelling at you like that. I'm sorry, Bakura, please forgive me."

Ryou tightens his hold around my shoulders and buries his face back into my neck. I've never really considered forgiving him before; I didn't expect him to apologize. So I spent a very long time considering what to do. So much time went by that Ryou fell asleep clutching me. His arms were a constant reminder of how much he seemed to want me to stay.

When Ryou finally shifted awake I still wasn't too sure what to do. He slowly lifted his head and looked at me tiredly, "I thought you would be gone." He mumbled, "I'm so glad you're still here." He seemed just now to realize that he had fallen asleep on me and he jumped back, "Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to."

I simply nodded and returned to my thinking. He got up and began shuffling about the apartment making coffee, breakfast, and getting ready to do his daily routine. He returned after a while and looked at me with a little bit of worry; I hadn't really moved too much since he woke up, "I have to go out and buy some things. Would you like to come?"

I glanced at him a little but before fixing my gaze back on nothing, "No, I need to think here." He hesitated before leaving, as if he expects that I'll leave or something before disappearing out the door.

So I think long and hard: Should I stay with Ryou or Die? It must seem pretty obvious which to choose, but what will happen when Ryou dies? I'll be all alone again for years and years until this whole mess happens again. There must be some way to work this out.

I don't even look up when Ryou carries in bags of groceries and drops them on the table in the kitchen. Then he comes over and sits next to me. After a few moments he touches my arm and whispers, "Bakura?" Slowly I turn to look at him and he fidgets nervously. I must look creepy or something when I move that slowly and I don't even have one of my scary looking smirks on. "B-Bakura?" He repeats again, "Are you ok? You've hardly moved." He tells me.

"I'm thinking." I tell him before turning back and fixing my gaze once again on nothing. I wonder if this is how Ryou felt when I would bother him. I'm rather irritated that he keeps coming back. Maybe I'll have to go out and torture some random person—

I'm suddenly struck with an idea of sorts. Maybe Ryou could get one of his stupid friends to destroy the Ring when he dies. That way we can both be happy, "But Bakura, that doesn't answer my question: Are you ok?"

I smirk at him and he tilts his head to the side. He shakes a little and fixes his gaze on my smirk, he might think I'm going to eat him or something, "I forgive you, Landlord; but I don't want that to happen again."

"It won't!" He replies eagerly, "Will you please stay?" Ryou shifts closer to me and looks up with huge beseeching eyes.

"I still want my end, I don't want to spend another eternity there." He reaches forward with a shaking hand and opens his mouth to speak. I swiftly catch it and cut him off, "No Ryou, it's your turn to stay silent." He looks ashamed and withdrawals his hand waiting for me to continue, "I'll stay, I never said that I wouldn't; just promise me you'll tell one of your annoying friends to destroy the Ring once you're gone."

Before I know it he's got his arms wrapped around me again, "Thankyou, Bakura." He whispers, "I'm so glad you're back."

"Hopefully I can stay back, Landlord." I push him off of me and grin at him, "So if you get fed up with me again just tell me, ok? I'll just leave you alone for a while."

"Thanks Bakura." His lips curve into a small, but genuine smile, "That'd be really great, Bakura."

---The (pathetic) End---

If you don't think that sucks then there's probably something wrong with you, that's ok though; there's more wrong with me!

Ryou: I don't think anyone can argue with that!

Oo; >:D takes Ryou to the back room

Ryou: NO!


End file.
